Two secrets to a happy marriage: a sense of humor and a short memory
Marriage is one of the best things life has to offer, but anyone who tells you it’s easy, or always a great time is living in an alternate reality (and, by the way, we’d like to get directions to that reality!). “‘Til death us do part” takes a moment to speak, but a lifetime to live.
Two simple things can make all the difference, and make that journey one of happiness and wonder: a sense of humor, and a short memory.
No doubt about it, humor carries us through so many life circumstances — from trivial to frustrating to the tragic. And it can defuse some very volatile situations. This is especially important when a couple wrestles with financial matters. After all, money is a leading cause of arguments among married couples, so it’s important not to forget about finding humor in the situation and using it for the benefit of your happy home.
Laughter isn’t just comic relief. Physiologically, it promotes reduction of stress and tension, stimulation of the immune system, an increase of natural serotonin, and a reduction of high blood pressure. It brightens our mood, brings us closer to our spouse or partner, and helps keep a relationship fresh and new. Simplemarriage.com states that through laughter, muscle tension disappears and neurochemicals are released into the bloodstream, creating the same feelings long-distance joggers experience as a “runner’s high.” All of these benefits allow us to feel healthier and happier, and they help ensure we can get through the inevitable bumps we encounter with our mate in the marital roads we travel.
The perfect complement to humor in keeping your relationship happy is a short memory. We may be a bit (okay, more than a bit) tired of that now famous lyric, “Let it go,” but it is a skill that’s essential to working through disagreements and hurt. Putting arguments and perceived wrongs behind us, and forgetting about whatever caused the upset to begin with, can make all the difference in holding onto happiness in your marriage. It sets the stage for forgiveness to slide right in where anger or aggravation used to be.
Ever hear the saying, “Would you rather be right or happy?” Holding onto a storyline of how you were right and your spouse was wrong is like replaying a bad movie over and over again. Why do that to yourself? Try your hardest to forget about the dirty dishes sitting in the sink five minutes after you asked for them to be loaded into the dishwasher. Practice a little amnesia the next time your spouse says something hurtful or doesn’t show up on time for date night.
A lasting sense of humor and a little forgetfulness can go a long way in marriage.